Sunday, May 10, 2009

Week 4 & 5

Week 4 was zero. Week 5 was a 1 pound gain.

I'm hitting that point where I lose the drive to do this. It seems there's something that always comes up to interfere with my goal - Mikey's surgeries, travel for work, sickness - you name it.

Okay, I admit it. I want to lose the weight, but I don't want to work for it or change my eating habits. Pretty bad, huh? But, I'm not willing to do the next miracle cure or give up either.

It's just that, from time to time, I get in this place where I'm really pissed that I have to work so hard to get every pound off. I get tired of hating the way I look and feel, and long for the day where I don't feel that way anymore. I know that this isn't going to happen overnight. The first 60 pounds took a year to come off. I think it's just that I'm so angry than 30 pounds of that came back. Yes, it was due to preganancy. Yes, it was only 30 pounds this time as I gained 60 with the first kid. Yes, it's only been a couple of years that I've carried the 30 - it was 10 for the oldest.

I know all of this, but it still drives me crazy that I'm having to re-conquer previously won territory.

Now it sounds like I'm whinning.

Maybe I got it out of my system.