12/24/2006
How bizarre is that? I've completed 49 weeks on the NS plan and have lost 49 pounds. Part of me is impressed - that's 1 pound a week! Part of me is pissed . . . if I had stuck to the plan 100% and had lost around 2 pounds a week, I'd be done.
Oh well. I can't go back and change what I did in the past. I can only make sure I don't make the same mistakes in the future, right? Besides, there's been a lot of other crap to deal with besides just the weight.
The really cool thing is that I hit 182.5 this morning. I've finally broken the 185.5 mark! I am determined to get to the 170s before the end of the year, and I am oh-so-close!
Let's see . . . If I have 47.5 pounds to go and I stick with the food & exercise plan 100% . . . and if I average a 1.5 pounds loss per week . . . that would have me finished by the thrid week of July. If I go aggressive and do 2 pounds per week, then I'll be done by the second week of June. If I keep my current pace of 1 pound per week, then I'll be done by Thanksgiving next year.
Hmmmm. . .
Okay, I've decided. June it is. LOL!
Now, back to some more serious stuff . . .
This week was my first full week on my triathlon training program. I did really well. I managed to get back in the water for the first time in about 20 years. Yeah, that first day was a little freaky, but I survived. When I went back on Friday I was much more comfortable and didn't end up sore at all. I've even signed up for a swimming class to make sure my techique and form are correct.
The other day Vince came home to find me with my goggles on and my head in a pot full of water working on my breathing. Of course, I was so focused on what I was doing, I didn't realize he was standing there. I'm not sure how long he watched me, but I'm fairly certain he thinks I'm certifiable now. Oh well, just wait until he sees what I have planned for today . .
I am getting more comfortable on the bike. Of course, I use the term comfortable very loosly. The legs feel good and I'm working to not put my weight on my wrists (my carpel tunnel syndrome won't stand for that!), but the seat is, um, well, it just freaking hurts. After riding for about five minutes I have no feeling in my nether-regions. (And, yes, I'm wearing cycle shorts!) I know this will resolve itslf in time with plenty of practice.
I'm also working to increase my running to a 12 minute mile. I know, I know . . . that's still pretty slow. But, I remember when I worked down to a 20 minute mile, then a 17, then a 15. So, for now I have 12 in my sights and will soon be aiming for 10.
That's how this whole thing works, isn't it? Just one more minute, one more mile, one more lap, one more pound, one more day.
With friendship,
Care'
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Week #48: Heads Back in the Game Again . . .
12/18/2006
You know, after about six weeks of not being serious, I finally have my head back in the game. I finally realized that I was feeling pretty down about the holidays, which had me turning to food for comfort. At one point I realized I wasn't eating blindly like in the past, but that I was eating the crap on purpose. WTH? It was like I was DECIDING that I was going to eat poorly, and actually went to the store to buy the stuff. Geesh!
Yesterday I was really evaluating the situation and trying to determine why I was doing this to myself. My husband asked if I was sad about the holidays. "Of course not," I said. "It's freaking Christmas! Everyone is happy!"
As those words tumbled out of my mouth I realized how angry they were, and the light bulb clicked on.
Yep, I was feeling down about the time of year. Why? Because I don't have a freaking family, that's why.
Since my MaMa died I pretty much don't have anything to do with my Dad or his side of the family. (This is my step-dad who raised me.) It's like when she went, I just "lifted out." They all get together and have a great time, but I'm not invited. It pisses me off. Also, my bio-Dad has disappeared (again).
Yes, I still have my Mom and my sister has recently come back into my life. I am also extremely fortunate that my in-laws love me as one of their own. But as a girl with daddy issues, this time of year leaves me feeling pretty down.
I know I need to confront the situation, but I'm just not ready yet. And, I also know that, if I do confront the situation, that I may learn about stuff that I'm not yet ready to hear.
But, back to the point of this post. After the light came on, I decided that I would just be pissed off and eat what I want until Jan 1. I mean, why beat myself up if the food was making me feel better?
But, you know what? The food wasn't making me feel better. My energy level has plumeted and my stomach has been "off" the last few weeks. I've been more apt to lie on the couch than go for a walk. I remember being like that all the time and thought it was normal. Now that I've had a taste of what life can be like, I don't want that any more.
I decided that I could either be angry, or I could have a good holiday in spite of the situation. After all, I do have a son and he deserves to have a happy Christmas like I did at his age. He still believes in Santa and I know those days are numbered. I have six neices and nephews that are all younger than my son, and seeing them tear through their presents is a thrill. Remember how that felt when you were that age?
I decided to have a GREAT holiday season - damn it! :)
Once I made that decision, suddenly the "diet and exercise" thing didn't seem so bad. I even attempted a new exercise video yesterday, but didn't make it too far since my stomach was upset. But, at least I got my butt off the couch and on the weight bench for a change.
So, here I am . . . all in the Christmas spirit now. It's driving my husband crazy. HE HE, this will be more fun that I thought.
HO! HO! HO!
With friendship,
Care'
You know, after about six weeks of not being serious, I finally have my head back in the game. I finally realized that I was feeling pretty down about the holidays, which had me turning to food for comfort. At one point I realized I wasn't eating blindly like in the past, but that I was eating the crap on purpose. WTH? It was like I was DECIDING that I was going to eat poorly, and actually went to the store to buy the stuff. Geesh!
Yesterday I was really evaluating the situation and trying to determine why I was doing this to myself. My husband asked if I was sad about the holidays. "Of course not," I said. "It's freaking Christmas! Everyone is happy!"
As those words tumbled out of my mouth I realized how angry they were, and the light bulb clicked on.
Yep, I was feeling down about the time of year. Why? Because I don't have a freaking family, that's why.
Since my MaMa died I pretty much don't have anything to do with my Dad or his side of the family. (This is my step-dad who raised me.) It's like when she went, I just "lifted out." They all get together and have a great time, but I'm not invited. It pisses me off. Also, my bio-Dad has disappeared (again).
Yes, I still have my Mom and my sister has recently come back into my life. I am also extremely fortunate that my in-laws love me as one of their own. But as a girl with daddy issues, this time of year leaves me feeling pretty down.
I know I need to confront the situation, but I'm just not ready yet. And, I also know that, if I do confront the situation, that I may learn about stuff that I'm not yet ready to hear.
But, back to the point of this post. After the light came on, I decided that I would just be pissed off and eat what I want until Jan 1. I mean, why beat myself up if the food was making me feel better?
But, you know what? The food wasn't making me feel better. My energy level has plumeted and my stomach has been "off" the last few weeks. I've been more apt to lie on the couch than go for a walk. I remember being like that all the time and thought it was normal. Now that I've had a taste of what life can be like, I don't want that any more.
I decided that I could either be angry, or I could have a good holiday in spite of the situation. After all, I do have a son and he deserves to have a happy Christmas like I did at his age. He still believes in Santa and I know those days are numbered. I have six neices and nephews that are all younger than my son, and seeing them tear through their presents is a thrill. Remember how that felt when you were that age?
I decided to have a GREAT holiday season - damn it! :)
Once I made that decision, suddenly the "diet and exercise" thing didn't seem so bad. I even attempted a new exercise video yesterday, but didn't make it too far since my stomach was upset. But, at least I got my butt off the couch and on the weight bench for a change.
So, here I am . . . all in the Christmas spirit now. It's driving my husband crazy. HE HE, this will be more fun that I thought.
HO! HO! HO!
With friendship,
Care'
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Week #47: Reflection
12/10/2006
Today is my birthday. I'm 37. I'm not happy about it. In fact, I'm quite depressed about being in my late 30s. Well, maybe depressed isn't the right word. I'm freaking pissed.
I feel as if I have slept the past 10 years of my life and only started waking up 11 months ago. It's really only been 6 months since I've felt like my own person. Now, here I am ready to take life by the horns, and I'm almost 40. Not that I think 40 is old, but let's face it . . . you just can't do at 40 what you could do at 20.
Here I sit wanting to run a marathon, do an Ironman, travel the world . . . and I feel like I'm running out of time. Damn, I wish I hadn't spent the last 10 years sitting on the couch eating crap.
Ah, regrets . .
The "woulda, coulda, shouldas" that I try to avoid . . .
I guess the good thing is that I did wake up before I hit 40 as opposed to before I hit 50 or never at all. The thing is that I'm back to battling my food demons again. This week I'm back down to 185.5, but I should have lost more. I increased exercise and was doing perfect on food, but Thursday came around and I blew it. For some reason I still feel the need to eat crap when I'm not feeling happy. Looking back I think my upcoming birthday had me blue, but I didn't realize it at the time. So I ate. I ate a lot. And no, it wasn't veggies.
So, I still have this emotional eating problem that I need to deal with. Damn it, will I ever conquer it?
Time to take this anger on a nice long run this morning. See you soon.
With friendship,
Care'
Today is my birthday. I'm 37. I'm not happy about it. In fact, I'm quite depressed about being in my late 30s. Well, maybe depressed isn't the right word. I'm freaking pissed.
I feel as if I have slept the past 10 years of my life and only started waking up 11 months ago. It's really only been 6 months since I've felt like my own person. Now, here I am ready to take life by the horns, and I'm almost 40. Not that I think 40 is old, but let's face it . . . you just can't do at 40 what you could do at 20.
Here I sit wanting to run a marathon, do an Ironman, travel the world . . . and I feel like I'm running out of time. Damn, I wish I hadn't spent the last 10 years sitting on the couch eating crap.
Ah, regrets . .
The "woulda, coulda, shouldas" that I try to avoid . . .
I guess the good thing is that I did wake up before I hit 40 as opposed to before I hit 50 or never at all. The thing is that I'm back to battling my food demons again. This week I'm back down to 185.5, but I should have lost more. I increased exercise and was doing perfect on food, but Thursday came around and I blew it. For some reason I still feel the need to eat crap when I'm not feeling happy. Looking back I think my upcoming birthday had me blue, but I didn't realize it at the time. So I ate. I ate a lot. And no, it wasn't veggies.
So, I still have this emotional eating problem that I need to deal with. Damn it, will I ever conquer it?
Time to take this anger on a nice long run this morning. See you soon.
With friendship,
Care'
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Time to Quit Dorking Around
12/03/2006
I was looking at my results for the month of November and they clearly show that I am futzing around and not being serious. I've been totally rocking on the exercise front, but I've pretty much been going over on calories. I haven't been making terrible choices like I've done in the past - just eating too much of the stuff I can have. Basically, it's like I'm doing my maintenance plan instead of my weight loss plan. While it is nice to know that I can maintain my weight without having to write down every bite and just using what I've learned, it is NOT nice to know that this is the weight I'm maintaining. I need to quit dorking around. After all, I have another 50 pounds to lose. That's still a lot of weight and I'll never get it off at this rate.
So, some key decisions today -
1. Write everything down that I eat. I find it's harder to cheat when every bite is accounted for.
2. Start weighing every morning again. This is hard to do while travelling, but it does keep me on track. I'm home now, so no execuses.
3. Bump up the exercise. I'm doing 3 days a week very consistently now, but want to bump it up. Not only for weight loss, but also because I want to work on my endurance. I ran another 5K yesterday and, while I almost made my goal time of 45 minutes (finisihed in 45:05) and beat my personal record of 47:59, I still wasn't happy. It was a stuggle and I finished towards the end of the pack. I don't necessarily want to win, but I would like to come in with the top 25%. The only way I can do that is to (a) drop the rest of the weight and (b) work on my endurance. So, this week I'm adding 2 more days to my exercise plan.
4. Get serious again. When I lost the most weight the quickest was when I was a machine. I didn't think about how food tasted. I just thought about what the food would do for my body & how much energy it would give me. Time to start looking at food like that again.
So, today starts a new week for me. I really would like to hit 175 by the end of the year. That's about a 2.5 pound weight loss per week. That may be not be attainable since I typically lose in the 1 - 1.5 pound range, but I'm going to try. After all, I've never been 100% on diet and 100% on exercise at the same time. Who knows? Maybe 2.5 pounds per week is too low.
With friendship,
Care'
I was looking at my results for the month of November and they clearly show that I am futzing around and not being serious. I've been totally rocking on the exercise front, but I've pretty much been going over on calories. I haven't been making terrible choices like I've done in the past - just eating too much of the stuff I can have. Basically, it's like I'm doing my maintenance plan instead of my weight loss plan. While it is nice to know that I can maintain my weight without having to write down every bite and just using what I've learned, it is NOT nice to know that this is the weight I'm maintaining. I need to quit dorking around. After all, I have another 50 pounds to lose. That's still a lot of weight and I'll never get it off at this rate.
So, some key decisions today -
1. Write everything down that I eat. I find it's harder to cheat when every bite is accounted for.
2. Start weighing every morning again. This is hard to do while travelling, but it does keep me on track. I'm home now, so no execuses.
3. Bump up the exercise. I'm doing 3 days a week very consistently now, but want to bump it up. Not only for weight loss, but also because I want to work on my endurance. I ran another 5K yesterday and, while I almost made my goal time of 45 minutes (finisihed in 45:05) and beat my personal record of 47:59, I still wasn't happy. It was a stuggle and I finished towards the end of the pack. I don't necessarily want to win, but I would like to come in with the top 25%. The only way I can do that is to (a) drop the rest of the weight and (b) work on my endurance. So, this week I'm adding 2 more days to my exercise plan.
4. Get serious again. When I lost the most weight the quickest was when I was a machine. I didn't think about how food tasted. I just thought about what the food would do for my body & how much energy it would give me. Time to start looking at food like that again.
So, today starts a new week for me. I really would like to hit 175 by the end of the year. That's about a 2.5 pound weight loss per week. That may be not be attainable since I typically lose in the 1 - 1.5 pound range, but I'm going to try. After all, I've never been 100% on diet and 100% on exercise at the same time. Who knows? Maybe 2.5 pounds per week is too low.
With friendship,
Care'
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