Week #4: Hmmmmm

10/26/2007

No loss. No gain. That goes for weight and inches. Considering it was T'giving and I did not put myself on restriction, I guess I'm happy with those results.

I am struggling with eating right. It seems like I'll do really well for breakfast and lunch, but then I do something stupid around 3:00. That fruit and dairy just doesn't cut it . . . I want CHOCOLATE! It seems this little chocolate habit I developed while preggers is very hard to break.

I spent some time evaluating why I'm doing this, paying particular attention to my emotional triggers.

Am I sad? No.
Am I happy? Well, yeah, but no more than usual. (It's that giddy stuff that triggers eating.)
Am I mad? No.
Am I depressed? No.
Am I stressed? No.

Well, okay maybe a little stressed.

On one hand I feel less stress than I've felt in years. Vince is home with the baby so the day-to-day routine is much less hectic. But, I think that "normal" stress has been replaced by bigger stress.

-Vince isn't working now so I have to keep an eye on finances. It stinks. I know it's doable, but I hate obsessing about money. Although, maybe that's better than obsessing about food.

-Michael has a surgery coming up and I'm dreading it. I know he needs it, but it's still scary. And, it's just the first one in a series. I'm trying to adopt the "sooner begun, sooner done" outlook, but I hate the fact that my tiny little guy will go under the knife.

-I don't have my outlets like I use to. I just started to run again, but it's not at the level I would like it to be. I know it will take some time to build back up to where I was, but still, I miss that release.

-I'm not biking or swimming yet. I miss those activities a lot. I'm tempted to set my bike back up in my living room, but good grief, I'm not sure where I'd put it. (I lost my office and sewing room when Michael came along, so that's now in the living room where I use to have my treadmill and bike.) Also, swimming requires I leave the house and, unless I can do that in the middle of the day (can you say WORK?) that isn't going to work for the family schedule.

So, yeah, maybe I do have some stress. I've lost my "good" coping mechanisms and have truned to the "bad" ones. That's why the food is out of control.

That will be $500, doc.

Week #3: I'm Going the Wrong Way!

11/19/2007

WTH? I'm going the wrong way!

Up a pound.

Gained 1.50 inches back.

What gives?

I was extremely good on the exercise. Walked three times this week - 2.8 miles, 3.1 miles and 3.3 miles.

I was better on the diet. Yeah, still not where I need to be, but better. Maybe not good enough to lose, but to GAIN?????

sigh

I guess I'll repeat Step One again! I refuse to give up, but I'd like to see progress.

Week #2: Repeat

11/13/2007

Okay, so week one was not stellar scale-wise. When I look back, I realize I did not set myself up to be successful. I pretty much forgot the NS plan and didn't bother to look it up again until mid-week. Sure enough, I "mis-remembered" a few points. Also, I didn't prepare my pantry. Instead of stocking the house with the good stuff, I still had the bad stuff. So, when hunger struck and it was time to eat some chopped-up veggies, I was left with potato chips. I did try my best, but there were a few stressors this week as well (ex: Vince losing his job and a birthday party). All-in-all I'm actually happy that I did not gain.

Also, even though I only walked one day, I did manage to shed 1.75 inches. So, hey, rather than beating myself up, I'll just go back to step one and start again.

Now, I just need to get my fitness routine figured out again. I'm having a VERY hard time forcing myself to take it easy. I'm mentally ready to do my swim, bike and run routine, but everything I've read is telling me I need to take it VERY easy. Common sense is telling me that I need to be walking 5 miles three times a week before I start jogging again and that I really should not try biking until at least January. I do NOT want to injure myself and everything I've read says my ligaments will still be loose for at least another three months.

UGH!

For those of you that know me, you know how much this is driving me crazy. I am such a planner and have a hard time letting go of my plans. When I look at what my triathlon-related goals were for 2007 and 2008 and see where I am now, I get frustrated. My natural reaction is to double-up and make up lost ground, but that would just lead to injury, which would set me back further. I'm trying to tell myself that everything has just shifted by one year, but it's hard to let go of wanting to do my first ironman by age 40. So what if I do it at 41. The point is that I plan to do it. I just need that nagging little voice to SHUT UP! :)

Week #1: Step One

11/04/2007

Today is the day. We're back at it.

It sucked to see 201.5 on the scale. It sucked to see that I need to lose 22 pounds to get back to where I was. It sucks to know that, in a few moments I'll be going for a walk when I really want to go for a run.

But . . .

At least I'm starting on the journey again.

I know it will probably take 11 weeks to lose those 22 pounds again, assuming I lose two pounds per week. I know it will probably take at least 4-6 weeks before I'll be ready to attempt to jog again.

But . . .

I will lose those 22 pounds again. And I will run again.

It's hard to not be discouraged. But, it's harder to get up off the couch and do something about it.

I choose to do something about it.