Week #4: Hmmmmm

10/26/2007

No loss. No gain. That goes for weight and inches. Considering it was T'giving and I did not put myself on restriction, I guess I'm happy with those results.

I am struggling with eating right. It seems like I'll do really well for breakfast and lunch, but then I do something stupid around 3:00. That fruit and dairy just doesn't cut it . . . I want CHOCOLATE! It seems this little chocolate habit I developed while preggers is very hard to break.

I spent some time evaluating why I'm doing this, paying particular attention to my emotional triggers.

Am I sad? No.
Am I happy? Well, yeah, but no more than usual. (It's that giddy stuff that triggers eating.)
Am I mad? No.
Am I depressed? No.
Am I stressed? No.

Well, okay maybe a little stressed.

On one hand I feel less stress than I've felt in years. Vince is home with the baby so the day-to-day routine is much less hectic. But, I think that "normal" stress has been replaced by bigger stress.

-Vince isn't working now so I have to keep an eye on finances. It stinks. I know it's doable, but I hate obsessing about money. Although, maybe that's better than obsessing about food.

-Michael has a surgery coming up and I'm dreading it. I know he needs it, but it's still scary. And, it's just the first one in a series. I'm trying to adopt the "sooner begun, sooner done" outlook, but I hate the fact that my tiny little guy will go under the knife.

-I don't have my outlets like I use to. I just started to run again, but it's not at the level I would like it to be. I know it will take some time to build back up to where I was, but still, I miss that release.

-I'm not biking or swimming yet. I miss those activities a lot. I'm tempted to set my bike back up in my living room, but good grief, I'm not sure where I'd put it. (I lost my office and sewing room when Michael came along, so that's now in the living room where I use to have my treadmill and bike.) Also, swimming requires I leave the house and, unless I can do that in the middle of the day (can you say WORK?) that isn't going to work for the family schedule.

So, yeah, maybe I do have some stress. I've lost my "good" coping mechanisms and have truned to the "bad" ones. That's why the food is out of control.

That will be $500, doc.