UGH! Sometimes it's all Just too Much

04/27/2006

Do you ever feel completely and totally overwhelmed? Lately that seems to be a constant state for me. Work has been CRAZY and there's no sign of it ever letting up. In fact, I'm getting a little sick of working 50 hours a week and STILL not getting everything done and getting beat up for it. I'm in a project manager position for a couple of our clients so, if the work isn't done on time, then I'm the one in the firing line. Then, they call the boss and he gripes at me. He wants to know what I need to make it better, I tell him, but I never get what I need. The truth of it is that we are seriously understaffed and overworked. This is not an exaggeration . . I literally walk in the door on Monday with over 100 hours of work to do each week. How is that possible to accomplish? And, we continue to take on more business. The amazing thing is that we usually get it all done, but at what cost? I see my co-workers burning out and, quite frankly, I think I'm starting to get a little singed around the edges myself.

That's very discouraging for me, because I'm such a go-getter. I love to work hard and take what seems impossible and make it happen. But I'm finding that, the harder I work, the harder I'm expected to work. I find it very difficult to get motivated when I know the tasks are not possible to accomplish and when there is no reward at the end except for more work. I seriously could work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week and STILL not be done. And, I'm not really doing anything important! If I were finding the cure for cancer or something I might feel a little less bitter about the time commitment.

It really frustrates me that I need to work all these weekends, too. What about my family? What about ME? I feel guilty if I'm working because I'm not with the family. I feel guilty if I *gasp* take the weekend off because I should be working. My house is a wreak because I don't have time to clean. We almost ran out of underwear the other day because I haven't had a chance to do laundry!

I'm finding it really hard to motivate my team when I want to walk out the door myself. No lie . . . I said to myself the other day "I just want to go home." Problem is - I was still at home sitting in the bathtub getting ready to go to work! That's pretty bad!

I really like what I do, but the conditions under which I'm having to do it just isn't working for me. It's hard to believe that only a week ago I was questioning if it was time to move on. I think I have my answer now - LOL! Now, if only the other job will call! Hopefully I'll hear something soon. The idea of being able to work from home two days a week is so appealing. I mean, I might actually have a chance to wash the underwear . . .

Now, top all of this off with me fretting over my weight and we have a powder keg here. My normal coping mechanism of eating is no longer an option. Fortunately, I've only had a couple of times when I wanted to eat, so I've been able to control that. The problem is that I'm finding that I want to hit someone instead! You know, really sock it to 'em - knock the crap out of 'em! But, I can't do that either. Can I?

Perhaps I should take up boxing?

This is somewhat comical to me since I'm such a non-violent person! Like right now, right this minute, if someone were to come up and ask me a dumb question (which is an hourly occurance) I'd like to just pop 'em one. Even if it was just to flick them with my finger . . .

Okay, now I'm laughing at myself. Could you imagine the look on their face? LOL!

Gee, I feel better now. This blog thing really is useful!

All right, back to work for me since the pile isn't getting any smaller. I promise I won't hit anyone. . . today . . . LOL!

With friendship,

Care'