Week #22: Trying Really Hard to Get Back on Track

06/17/2006

Literally.

I'm trying so hard to get back on that treadmill track. In fact, to help motivate myself, I purchased some new running shoes and one of those fancy Enell sports bras that everyone is raving about. That did the trick - I managed to get on the treadmill last Sunday and ran part of the way. Felt GREAT! In fact, I was so proud of myself, I decided that I would set a goal to do it at least 3 times per week. (I figured the "you have to do this everyday" voice needed to be shushed with the "it's okay to do it three times a week" voice. More on that in a minute . . .)

When I took off my shoes, I had a HUGE blister on my left heal. OUCH! Now, when I say huge, I mean like it covers the entire heal, huge. I must not have had my shoe tight enough or something. WAH! I tried to give it another go on Thursday, but I couldn't even stand to walk with anything touching my heal - even with several layers of bandaids. So, on the down side, my exercise has been limited to stretching and resistance training (still good, of course) but on the up side I officially have my very first sports-related injury!

Boy, my dad would probably be proud of me that I actually have some type of sports-related injury. But, it's about making myself proud, not my dad. (Nope - not going there today . . . )

So, back to the voices inside my head. . .

I'm a member of the Jazzman's Boardroom, (great support site, by the way. Check out the link on the right.), and there was a post from one of our members that was feeling pretty down on herself and the diet. I could TOTALLY relate to her. It's like you know what you have to do to be successful, but sometimes you just don't want to do it. Some days you just resent the fact that you have to work this hard for what seems to come so easily for others. This is especially hard in my house since my wonderful husband barley weighs 125 when fully clothed, wet, and wearing steel-toed boots.

Anywho, I was reading her posts and the responses. One post in particular caught my eye. Basically, she said that, sometimes 80% is good enough. This really hit me right between my eyes.

I'm very much a perfectionist. Throughout my life I have tried things and quickly given them up because I didn't immediately master them and become the best at whatever it was that I was doing. I can list hundreds of things I've tried, and I won't bore you with the details, but weight loss is definately on the list. It seems like if I'm not 100% on plan, 100% on exercise, 100% on water, a little voice starts nagging me about my shortcomings.

Well, this post got me to thinking . . . yeah, I'm only doing 80% at times, but what if I were doing 0%? I'd be just as big as I was last November, or possibly even bigger.

So, I decided to create a new voice in my head - one that was fun and encouraging; one that could shut the other voice up. The new voice tells me that 80% is a success and that anything above that is that much better. The new voice pushes me in a positive way - "Wow! You lost one pound this week being 80%! Imagine what you could have lost if you were 85%!" and "Wow, you exercised three times this week! Way to go!" The new voice also makes me smile . . . I've given it a valley girl accent, so it's really like "OH MY GAWD! You like TOTALLY lost like one whole pound! Like WOW!" It also says stuff like "Gag me with a spoon" when the office orders in pizza. I know. It's dorky. But it helps me keep a sense of humor about this whole thing.

Okay . . . hearing voices in my head . . .talking like a valley girl . . .

You guys think I'm crazy, don't you?

With friendship,

Care'