Week #39: Some Changes

10/15/2006

My official weigh-in yesterday has me down another 2 pounds. That means I'm only 2 pounds away from the overall half-way point. I'm thrilled! Also, my first 5K is coming up on Saturday. I'm very excited. Unfortunately I won't be able to run the full 3 miles since I had some setbacks during training. But, my plan is to run at least 2 miles and complete the race in under 51 minutes. I told Vince last night that I'm going to use this one for experience and that I plan to sign up for another one very soon. Then, I want to start training for a 10K.

I have to tell you . . . I am really enjoying the feel of muscles in my legs and the fact that my butt is smaller. I'm ready for other parts of my body to start toning up, which ties in to the title of my post.

I decided last week that I need to add some sort of weight training to my exercise plan. Yes, I do the resistance training with the bands, but it isn't hard enough, if that makes sense. I've decided I want a personal trainer, but I dodn't want to spend the money (after all, I need to fix my house - LOL!) So, I searched the Interent and found a 13 week training plan that didn't cost too much and that you do from home.

Let me tell you, that first night I only managed to do one set of each exercise in each circuit. I wasn't working too hard because I wanted to get the "feel" of the exercise and make sure I understood the technique. Well, it kicked my butt anyway, which was very exciting. I think I may have found something that will produce the results I want. The plan also came with a diet that fits very nicely with the NS plan. I basically add one more fat serving and eliminate one carb serving, which I started doing on Wednesday.

It just seems so strange that I actually want to exercise and eat healthy, and that I am spending my time researching and planning for both. Just a year ago I thought the only way to get fit was through surgery, and I was seriously contemplating it. Just months ago I was ready to give up and just maintain my loss. Now I find myself in a completely different situation. It's almost as if I found the light switch after being in the dark for so many years.

The truth is that I've finally taken the time to sort through and resolve the various emotional issues in my life. The truth is that I didn't like myself very much and used my weight to keep people away so I wouldn't get hurt. As I've worked though the past hurts and disappointments, I've found that I really am a good person and I have a right to enjoy life. And if anyone has a problem with that or doesn't want to be part of it, that's his or her tough luck. I'm not going to let other people's emotional issues interfere with my life anymore. Yes, there are still some things to sort through and I know those are going to be the hardest because they have the deepest scars. But, I know that dealing with them will make me a more healthy person - physically and mentally.

So, I guess I'm at the fork in the road on this journey. I can keep doing what I've been doing, or I can take a turn and travel the more challenging path.

I choose the more challenging path.

With friendship,

Care'