Week #51: Oh So Close . . .

01/07/2007

I am so close to leaving the 180s behind me FOREVER. I was hoping to meet that goal prior to the new year or even this week, but sometimes it just doesn't work the way you want. I'm sure I'll nail it this week.

I've been lax in keeping up with everyone's blogs because, quite frankly, it was all I could do to keep myself motivated. As I've started to read them again, it seems like I was not the only one that faced challenges during the holidays. Also, it seems like a lot of us are happy for the fresh start and excitement that the new year brings.

I remember where I was this time last year. I was looking at all those NS commercials wondering if it would work for me. I was looking at my budget to see if I could afford to do the plan, and weighing that against the cost of NOT doing the plan. I was searching the Internet to find reviews. I was trying to decide if I would tell Vince what I was thinking. After all, I had failed a LOT of plans in the past.

By this point I had lost 6.5 pounds from my all time high of 238. (At least, 238 was the last time I'd checked a scale, so who knows.) I lost 6.5 pounds from November of 2005 until the first of January 2006. It was coming off, but it was a constant battle. I needed something different - something radical - from what I had tried in the past.

I remember thinking that all diets are just going to fail and perhaps I should just do the surgery. I spent a few days researching the surgery and found out that I was actually too small to qualify based on my BMI. I seriously considered gaining another 15 pounds so that I could qualify.

Surgery is a big step, and one that I wasn't ready to take. So, instead I decided that I would do ONE MORE diet plan and, if that failed, I would go under the knife.

Over the next few days I worked and re-worked our budget to see what we could do. I finally told Vince what I was thinking. I'm not sure why I had hesitated to tell him. He said, "If you think it will work for you, and you want to do it, then you should try."

Try.

For the first time in my life I decided to approach a diet with a "try" attitude instead of a "do" attitude. Now, I know what you're thinking . . . "That doesn't make sense," and for most people, you would be right. But, I think the big reason diets had failed me in the past was because I had an "all or nothing" approach. If I was 100% perfect, then I was happy. If I slipped and went off the track by eating off plan or missing a workout, I was furious. My fury generally resulted in my giving up and eating anything that wasn't nailed down. So, "try" was a good approach. After all, I was convinced it wouldn't work for me anyway.

I placed my order and then went into that 3-5 day period that occurs between THE ORDER and THE ARRIVAL. I was both excited and terrified and immediately second-guessed my decision. Of course, all that anxiety led to eating. How I managed to maintain the 231 I had gotten to is beyond me.

My food arrived on January 13th, and I started the plan on January 14th.

Next Sunday is January 14th - one full year since I began.

Next week I'll reflect back on my one year anniversary with NutriSystem . . . so stay tuned.

With friendship,

Care'