09/27/2006
Warning . . . I'm incredibly pissed right now . . .
In the spirt of removing the "toxins" from my attitude, I have decided to do what seems to help me the most - write about it. Feel free to comment and point out where I can improve, or tell me just to shut up. I can use some tough love right now.
If I step on the scale one more freaking time and see a number higher than 189.5 I think I am going to SCREAM. On Sunday I was down to 190. I was thrilled. Monday showed 191. Okay, not too bad. Wednesday showed 192.5! DAMN IT! This would all be acceptable if I had not been perfect on the diet, water and exercise front. I've been on the treadmill every day since Saturday and even added resistance training on Monday and Tuesday. I have been 100% on the NS plan since last Thursday (not one single cheat, mind you) and have been 110% with the water by taking in more than 8 glasses.
When I exercise I am getting very frustrated. My desire on what I want to do exceeds what my body will allow me to do. It's like I really want to push myself further, but my body is letting me down. Last night I twisted my ankle when I was running, so I had to stop. I'm fine and will be back on the treadmill tonight, but it really angered me that I had to stop after only 20 minutes. I feel like I can run forever but my legs would probably blow out.
I know where I want to get, but I can't get there.
So, what can I do to get the scale to move?
Yes, I am seeing the inches melt away. I am feeling muscle starting to form, and my butt is definately smaller than it used to be. But when I look in the mirror I see the flabby skin under my arms, the rolls that are still around my mid section, and the hail damage on my butt and thighs. (How is it that I never saw this before?)
Am I just being too hard on myself? Or, is it that I finally am being hard on myself for the first time in my life and am having trouble adjusting?
I am afraid that I've hit the wall. Look on the right . . . I've been in the 190s for a VERY long time. TOO LONG.
Am I going to be a size 2 and still weigh 190 pounds? Is that even possible?
I know you should measure weight loss by things other than the number on the scale, but we would be lying to ourselves if we didn't agree that the number on the scale is important to us.
Okay . . . rant off.
Hit me with your comments, please.
Care'
About Me
| Week | Weight | Total | ||||||||||
| 0 | 210.00 | 00.00 | ||||||||||
| 1 | 207.00 | 03.00 | ||||||||||
| 2 | 207.00 | 03.00 | ||||||||||
| 3 | 206.50 | 03.50 | ||||||||||
| 4 | 206.50 | 03.50 | ||||||||||
| 5 | 207.50 | 02.50 |
3 comments:
You have been at 190 for a while. BUT you weren't on plan for some of that time, and you were struggling not to eat crap. Now you have added resistance training and are likely holding on to some water to repair the muscles after you used them. That happens. If you keep at it, you WILL lose weight. If you give up, you WILL gain. That's just how it is.
You're doing great. Celebrate your exercise victories. Those are important. I love seeing a good number on the scale too, but focus on the big picture. If I were a size 2, I wouldn't care that the scale said 190! :)
No lectures from me... You are still doing excellent and i know its hard to see past the numbers, but you can do it. Make next week another "no cheat" week and keep going from there. You are going to see movement very quickly.
As for me... I'm still torn with dieting. I might try NS with my own food. Maybe that will do something for me.
Okay, Emily, your comment was what I needed. I spent yesterday and last night really looking back on what I've done in the last month, and I found something very interesting. I'll post more this weekend.
Jesi, I think it's great you are going to try NS with your own food. I did it for 4 months and found it fairly easy to do.
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