1/30/2006
So far I have been very good on my diet - almost perfect (I would give myself a 97% - LOL), but I'm finding that the weekends are the hardest. Maybe it's because I'm not on a set schedule or maybe it's because I'm preparing food for my DH and DS that I can't have . . . but getting through the weekend without falling off the wagon is tough!
I was also feeling down this weekend. I think taking the "before" pics did it for me. I'm so frustrated with myself for allowing me to get this way and for being in complete denial about my health and weight for so long. What else am I fooling myself about?
I calculated the number of weeks it would take to reach my goal assuming a 2 lb per week loss, and it's 44 weeks. Wow. I really wish I could flash forward and see myself in 44 weeks - that would be great motivation. 44 weeks sounds so long, especially when you think that not every week will be 2 lbs. But, as I always remind myself, I didn't put it on overnight so it's not going to come off overnight, no matter how much I want it too.
I guess I'm feeling a bit down right now, but I'm not giving up - I REFUSE to give up!
With friendship,
Care'
Monday, January 30, 2006
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Week #2 Results
1/28/2006
Today officially starts week #3 on my weight loss journey. When I stepped on the scale this morning I found I weighed 223 - that's a total loss of 8.5 lbs! I was feeling really great . . .even started my work out program today which consisted of resistance training and walking on the treadmill.
I enjoyed the high for a while when DH reminded me that I needed to take my "before" pics and measurements. (queue tragic music here)
I pulled out the tape measure and took my measurements - YIKES!
Then, I had DH take pics of me - front view, back view and side views - DOUBLE YIKES!
Even though I'm down 8.5 lbs and only 1.5 lbs away from my next mini-goal, I'm kind of feeling down. WHY DO I NOT SEE HOW BIG I AM WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR? Is it my brain's way of allowing me to leave the house every day? UGH!
But, this blog is about my journey and to keep me accountable. So, I'll be posting the pics today. I sure hope they don't scare you away . . .
So, let's focus on the positive here . . .
-I lost another 1.5 lbs
-I'm down 8.5 lbs total
-My clothes feel looser
-My energy level is higher
-I completed my first workout this morning
-I'm drinking all my water
-I'm following the plan 100%
It's in the journey . . . It's in the journey . . .
With friendship,
Caré
Today officially starts week #3 on my weight loss journey. When I stepped on the scale this morning I found I weighed 223 - that's a total loss of 8.5 lbs! I was feeling really great . . .even started my work out program today which consisted of resistance training and walking on the treadmill.
I enjoyed the high for a while when DH reminded me that I needed to take my "before" pics and measurements. (queue tragic music here)
I pulled out the tape measure and took my measurements - YIKES!
Then, I had DH take pics of me - front view, back view and side views - DOUBLE YIKES!
Even though I'm down 8.5 lbs and only 1.5 lbs away from my next mini-goal, I'm kind of feeling down. WHY DO I NOT SEE HOW BIG I AM WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR? Is it my brain's way of allowing me to leave the house every day? UGH!
But, this blog is about my journey and to keep me accountable. So, I'll be posting the pics today. I sure hope they don't scare you away . . .
So, let's focus on the positive here . . .
-I lost another 1.5 lbs
-I'm down 8.5 lbs total
-My clothes feel looser
-My energy level is higher
-I completed my first workout this morning
-I'm drinking all my water
-I'm following the plan 100%
It's in the journey . . . It's in the journey . . .
With friendship,
Caré
Friday, January 27, 2006
No More Waiting
01/27/2006
Okay . . . so you know how I've been going through a mid-life crisis lately? (At least that's what I think it is - LOL!) I realized something yesterday. I have been putting my life on hold.
For example, I've always wanted to learn how to do X or Y, but I never have bothered because of my weight. I constantly tell myself that I'll do that when I lose weight.
WTH?
Sure, I don't look good in a bathing suit and I would not be willing to bellydance in public, but why can't I do those things now? And, who knows, maybe doing some of those things will help the weight come off. (Yes, I know this seems obvious . . . and I feel pretty stupid for just now figuring it out. I guess the blinders I've had on about my weight have affected other areas of my life as well.)
So, as part of embracing this new and ever-improving Care', I decided to start doing some of those things on my list that I've been putting off. The first thing I'm going to do is take up bellydancing. Now, I'm not ready to take a class yet and I'm certainly not ready to perform for others, but I can start the learning process in the privacy of my own home. And, when my new body is here, I WILL be ready to show off my new skill.
Some other things on my list include:
-Go swimming IN PUBLIC during the summer. I use to love swimming as a kid and I miss it.
-Learn how to scuba dive. I've always wanted to do this.
-Go skydiving. Just once should be enough, but it's on the top 10 list.
-Take trips. I love going to topical places, but never do b/c of the whole swimsuit issue.
There's definately more stuff on the list, but that's a good start for now. I've ordered my bellydancing DVDs and finger cymbals, so as soon as they arrive in the mail - WATCH OUT!
Oh, and I did mention to Vince that I was taking up bellydancing. He's quite excited. . . LOL!
With friendship,
Care'
Okay . . . so you know how I've been going through a mid-life crisis lately? (At least that's what I think it is - LOL!) I realized something yesterday. I have been putting my life on hold.
For example, I've always wanted to learn how to do X or Y, but I never have bothered because of my weight. I constantly tell myself that I'll do that when I lose weight.
WTH?
Sure, I don't look good in a bathing suit and I would not be willing to bellydance in public, but why can't I do those things now? And, who knows, maybe doing some of those things will help the weight come off. (Yes, I know this seems obvious . . . and I feel pretty stupid for just now figuring it out. I guess the blinders I've had on about my weight have affected other areas of my life as well.)
So, as part of embracing this new and ever-improving Care', I decided to start doing some of those things on my list that I've been putting off. The first thing I'm going to do is take up bellydancing. Now, I'm not ready to take a class yet and I'm certainly not ready to perform for others, but I can start the learning process in the privacy of my own home. And, when my new body is here, I WILL be ready to show off my new skill.
Some other things on my list include:
-Go swimming IN PUBLIC during the summer. I use to love swimming as a kid and I miss it.
-Learn how to scuba dive. I've always wanted to do this.
-Go skydiving. Just once should be enough, but it's on the top 10 list.
-Take trips. I love going to topical places, but never do b/c of the whole swimsuit issue.
There's definately more stuff on the list, but that's a good start for now. I've ordered my bellydancing DVDs and finger cymbals, so as soon as they arrive in the mail - WATCH OUT!
Oh, and I did mention to Vince that I was taking up bellydancing. He's quite excited. . . LOL!
With friendship,
Care'
Thursday, January 26, 2006
7 lbs Gone! Mini-Goal Met!
1/26/2006
I stepped on the scale this morning to find that I'm down to 224.5! That means I've met and passed my mini-goal of 225, and have lost a total of 7 lbs! I am so thrilled! I feel better, my clothing is loose, and I'm more energetic! For the first time in a very long time I'm not feeling depressed.
2006 will be my year, baby!
Watch out 220... I'm out to get you next!
With friendship,
Care'
I stepped on the scale this morning to find that I'm down to 224.5! That means I've met and passed my mini-goal of 225, and have lost a total of 7 lbs! I am so thrilled! I feel better, my clothing is loose, and I'm more energetic! For the first time in a very long time I'm not feeling depressed.
2006 will be my year, baby!
Watch out 220... I'm out to get you next!
With friendship,
Care'
Monday, January 23, 2006
Day #10
1/23/2006
Today starts day 10 of the NS program. I am very pleased with my results so far and am proud of myself for how well I'm doing. Last night was a bit tough b/c DH and DS has pizza. It didn't LOOK very good, but man, that smell was getting to me! LOL! I was able to refrain, though, but it was hard.
I've been doing a lot of soul searching during the last few days. I'm not ready to share much yet, but the wheels are definately turning. For now, let's just say I'm evaluating some relationships in my life that may need to be let go. More on that later.
Take care and have a wonderful day!
With friendship,
Care'
Today starts day 10 of the NS program. I am very pleased with my results so far and am proud of myself for how well I'm doing. Last night was a bit tough b/c DH and DS has pizza. It didn't LOOK very good, but man, that smell was getting to me! LOL! I was able to refrain, though, but it was hard.
I've been doing a lot of soul searching during the last few days. I'm not ready to share much yet, but the wheels are definately turning. For now, let's just say I'm evaluating some relationships in my life that may need to be let go. More on that later.
Take care and have a wonderful day!
With friendship,
Care'
Saturday, January 21, 2006
End of Week #1
1/21/2006
Well, today is the beginning of week #2 on the NS program. So, how did I do for week #1???
I lost 5 lbs!
I am sooooooo excited! I am only 1.5 lbs away from my first mini-goal!
WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!
With friendship,
Caré
Well, today is the beginning of week #2 on the NS program. So, how did I do for week #1???
I lost 5 lbs!
I am sooooooo excited! I am only 1.5 lbs away from my first mini-goal!
WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!
With friendship,
Caré
Thursday, January 19, 2006
What is Food?
1/19/2006
Okay, so last night on the way home I had a lot of "stuff" suddenly hit me. There's a lot of questions I've been asking myself lately:
-What is my purpose?
-Why am I here?
-How did I get to where I am?
-Where do I want to go?
-Why am I this heavy?
-Will I be successful this time in losing weight?
-Why do I allow others to have power over me?
You know, typical mid-life crisis stuff, right?
It finally hit me square in the face . . . I've made only a few decisions that were truly my own. By that I mean I can literrally count on one had the number of times I made a decision that wasn't influenced by outside sources.
Wow. That's really sad . . .
So, sometime last night between 7:00 and 8:00 p.m. Central Time I started to grow a spine, and today I feel so much more positive about my life and where I'm heading. Yes, I still don't know where I'm going, but I am glad to be the one behind the wheel.
Now, I know what you're thinking. No one TOLD me to eat all that bad stuff through the years. You're right. No one did. But I did allow others to influence my decision to swallow that crap.
I mentioned before that I am an emotional eater. As an example, I remember being told as a teenager that I needed to be thin or I would not attract a husband. I remember that had the absolute opposite affect on me than what I'm sure my family member was trying to illicit. Instead of thinking "yeah, I'd better drop these 10 lbs," I thought "yeah, I'll prove you wrong!"
(I'm married and I'm overweight, but I'm not sure if I won that argument???)
As I was having a heavy dose of self reflection last night, I realized that overeating for me in the above situation was a form of rebellion. I was a great kid - did what the parents wanted, didn't push the boundries. Bascially, I let my parents have control over me. Instead of sneaking out as a teenager I would sneak a cookie. Instead of yelling back at my parents I would stuff my face with chips.
When I think of how I've interacted with food throughout my life, I realize that I was using it to calm me down when stressed, to cheer me up when sad, to celebrate when happy and to drown out my depression. The truly tragic thing is that, after eating, I never felt better. In fact, I felt worse becuase (a) the original problem existed and (b) I just ate crap that I should not have.
Remember the other day when I mentioned that food seems to have changed color for me? It's almost like someone opened the curtain and showed me that the Great Oz was really just a guy trying to get by. That slice of pizza that use to appeal to me now looks like a limp piece of bread with a bunch of greese on top. The melting cheese seems pale and artificial.
So, even though this is only day 6 of my journey, I've learned a lot about myself and about food. So, what is food? Well, let me tell you what it's not.
-Food is not my reason for living
-Food is not the most important thing in my life
-Food is not an appointment on my calendar
-Food is not love
-Food is not approval
-Food is not respect
-Food is not a stress-reducer
-Food is not an anti-depresent
So, armed with a growing spine and the knowledge of what food isn't, I feel empowered to face this challenge head-on and emerge victorious.
With friendship,
Care'
Oh, and P.S., I'm down another .5 lb! - I've lost 4 lbs to date. WOO HOO!
Okay, so last night on the way home I had a lot of "stuff" suddenly hit me. There's a lot of questions I've been asking myself lately:
-What is my purpose?
-Why am I here?
-How did I get to where I am?
-Where do I want to go?
-Why am I this heavy?
-Will I be successful this time in losing weight?
-Why do I allow others to have power over me?
You know, typical mid-life crisis stuff, right?
It finally hit me square in the face . . . I've made only a few decisions that were truly my own. By that I mean I can literrally count on one had the number of times I made a decision that wasn't influenced by outside sources.
Wow. That's really sad . . .
So, sometime last night between 7:00 and 8:00 p.m. Central Time I started to grow a spine, and today I feel so much more positive about my life and where I'm heading. Yes, I still don't know where I'm going, but I am glad to be the one behind the wheel.
Now, I know what you're thinking. No one TOLD me to eat all that bad stuff through the years. You're right. No one did. But I did allow others to influence my decision to swallow that crap.
I mentioned before that I am an emotional eater. As an example, I remember being told as a teenager that I needed to be thin or I would not attract a husband. I remember that had the absolute opposite affect on me than what I'm sure my family member was trying to illicit. Instead of thinking "yeah, I'd better drop these 10 lbs," I thought "yeah, I'll prove you wrong!"
(I'm married and I'm overweight, but I'm not sure if I won that argument???)
As I was having a heavy dose of self reflection last night, I realized that overeating for me in the above situation was a form of rebellion. I was a great kid - did what the parents wanted, didn't push the boundries. Bascially, I let my parents have control over me. Instead of sneaking out as a teenager I would sneak a cookie. Instead of yelling back at my parents I would stuff my face with chips.
When I think of how I've interacted with food throughout my life, I realize that I was using it to calm me down when stressed, to cheer me up when sad, to celebrate when happy and to drown out my depression. The truly tragic thing is that, after eating, I never felt better. In fact, I felt worse becuase (a) the original problem existed and (b) I just ate crap that I should not have.
Remember the other day when I mentioned that food seems to have changed color for me? It's almost like someone opened the curtain and showed me that the Great Oz was really just a guy trying to get by. That slice of pizza that use to appeal to me now looks like a limp piece of bread with a bunch of greese on top. The melting cheese seems pale and artificial.
So, even though this is only day 6 of my journey, I've learned a lot about myself and about food. So, what is food? Well, let me tell you what it's not.
-Food is not my reason for living
-Food is not the most important thing in my life
-Food is not an appointment on my calendar
-Food is not love
-Food is not approval
-Food is not respect
-Food is not a stress-reducer
-Food is not an anti-depresent
So, armed with a growing spine and the knowledge of what food isn't, I feel empowered to face this challenge head-on and emerge victorious.
With friendship,
Care'
Oh, and P.S., I'm down another .5 lb! - I've lost 4 lbs to date. WOO HOO!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Day 5
1/18/06
Well, today officially marks day #5. I weighed this morning and am down another .5 lb! WOO HOO! I only need to lose 3 more lbs to meet my first mini-goal.
Last night I ate my first NS meal that I did not like. I guess it was bound to happen eventually, right?
Yesterday was a bit tough. I was really hungry all day. I did have to eat lunch earlier than what I normally do and I had to rush because I was late for a meeting, so maybe that was a contributer. I just know that when I got home from work yesterday I was starving. LOL!
It has been interesting to see how my attitude toward food has changed over the last few days. I'm an emotional eater, so food has always been a dominant part of my life. I grew up in a family that shows affection with food, and some of my best memories are around a dinner table. Now that I don't have to think about food anymore, it's becoming less important to me. It hasn't even been a problem that DH and DS are eating differently than I am. The ONLY thing they have had that has "bothered" me has been bisquits. LOL. But, after the bisquits cooled off a bit and didn't have that wonderful smell, I was able to resist.
The other thing I've noticed is that foods I loved before seem to have changed color for me. It's almost like they are paler in color. The foods that are good for me are brighter now. Isn't that strange? Has anyone else experienced this or is it just me?
Okay, now that you think I'm crazy . . .
I'll sign off for now. Talk to you soon!
With friendship,
Care'
Well, today officially marks day #5. I weighed this morning and am down another .5 lb! WOO HOO! I only need to lose 3 more lbs to meet my first mini-goal.
Last night I ate my first NS meal that I did not like. I guess it was bound to happen eventually, right?
Yesterday was a bit tough. I was really hungry all day. I did have to eat lunch earlier than what I normally do and I had to rush because I was late for a meeting, so maybe that was a contributer. I just know that when I got home from work yesterday I was starving. LOL!
It has been interesting to see how my attitude toward food has changed over the last few days. I'm an emotional eater, so food has always been a dominant part of my life. I grew up in a family that shows affection with food, and some of my best memories are around a dinner table. Now that I don't have to think about food anymore, it's becoming less important to me. It hasn't even been a problem that DH and DS are eating differently than I am. The ONLY thing they have had that has "bothered" me has been bisquits. LOL. But, after the bisquits cooled off a bit and didn't have that wonderful smell, I was able to resist.
The other thing I've noticed is that foods I loved before seem to have changed color for me. It's almost like they are paler in color. The foods that are good for me are brighter now. Isn't that strange? Has anyone else experienced this or is it just me?
Okay, now that you think I'm crazy . . .
I'll sign off for now. Talk to you soon!
With friendship,
Care'
Monday, January 16, 2006
Day #2
1/16/2005
Well, yesterday marked my 2nd day on the NS plan. I weighed this morning (I know, I know - more on that later) and I was down another .5 lb! COOL! This is the first time in a very long time I've been under 230.
Okay, so . . . why do I weigh every day? For a couple of reasons. . . . (1) it's really motivating to get on the scale and see downward movement; (2) if there's an upward trend, it strengthens my resolve to do better that day; (3) I read somewhere that people who weigh every day are more likely to lose weight and keep it off.
The third point really got me thinking. I honestly never weighed myself, which is probably why I'm so big now. Maybe if I had weighed myself back when I was in the 180 range, I would have put a stop to it. Honestly, when I look in the mirror at myself I do NOT see an overweight person. But, when I see a picture of myself, that's a different story. Which is probably why I never pose for the camera.
What do you think? Do you weigh every day or do you hide the scale?
With friendship,
Care'
Well, yesterday marked my 2nd day on the NS plan. I weighed this morning (I know, I know - more on that later) and I was down another .5 lb! COOL! This is the first time in a very long time I've been under 230.
Okay, so . . . why do I weigh every day? For a couple of reasons. . . . (1) it's really motivating to get on the scale and see downward movement; (2) if there's an upward trend, it strengthens my resolve to do better that day; (3) I read somewhere that people who weigh every day are more likely to lose weight and keep it off.
The third point really got me thinking. I honestly never weighed myself, which is probably why I'm so big now. Maybe if I had weighed myself back when I was in the 180 range, I would have put a stop to it. Honestly, when I look in the mirror at myself I do NOT see an overweight person. But, when I see a picture of myself, that's a different story. Which is probably why I never pose for the camera.
What do you think? Do you weigh every day or do you hide the scale?
With friendship,
Care'
Sunday, January 15, 2006
And so it Begins . . .
1/15/2006
I decided to start this blog to track my weight loss journey. It's my way of being accountable to myself and to, hopefully, learn from and inspire others.
I'm 36 years old and have been overweight since college. In college, it was only a few pounds - maybe 10 or so - but it's gotten worse as I've gotten older. In fact, I'm not quite ready to share with you how much I weigh yet . . . wait . . . this is to make me accountable, right?
As of 1/14/2006 I weigh 231.5. YIKES! At 5'4" that a lot of me . . . .
A few weeks ago I decided to try NutriSystem (NS). I've done other weight loss plans in the past and have been successful, but the weight ALWAYS comes back. Right before I had my son (Jacob) I had gotten down to 160 (from 185) and felt great. I gained about 60 lbs while pregnant. I was able to lose 30 lbs after Jake was born, but it eventually crept up to 238. Scary, huh? I was able to lose the 6.5 lbs on my own, just by making a few "smarter" meal choices. But, the progress was just too slow. I think it took 2 months to lose those 6.5 lbs.
As some background . . . I currently work in the software industry and have a very demanding position. I work a lot of hours (50 hours is a GOOD week) and travel frequently. With the fast food joint being right next door, it's been very convenient to just run in and grab a burger and fries. Also, I don't like to cook, so my hubby (Vincent) is in charge. I think Vince may weight 125 lbs with his steel-toed boots on, so he doesn't always cook stuff that's figure-friendly. (Yes, Vince is underweight - LOL! Jake is a skinny little thing, too!)
I decided to try NS for a two main reasons:
1. It comes with food that doesn't have to be refrigerated/frozen and is easy to prepare. Heck, even I can use a microwave . . . Also, because I don't have to worry about the food spoiling, I can take it with me when I travel. How convenient!
2. The plan is based on proper portions and a balanced diet. This is one of the reasons why I'm a huge Weight Watchers fan.
So, with NS I'm getting the proper "training" on what to eat and how much to eat, with the added bonus of not having to "think" about the next meal.
I've literally been on the program for one whole day, so I'm super-motivated right now. I weighed this morning and was already down 2.5 lbs! I was stunned! I look forward to my official weigh in on Saturday.
More to come in the future. Thanks for stopping by!
With friendship,
Care'
I decided to start this blog to track my weight loss journey. It's my way of being accountable to myself and to, hopefully, learn from and inspire others.
I'm 36 years old and have been overweight since college. In college, it was only a few pounds - maybe 10 or so - but it's gotten worse as I've gotten older. In fact, I'm not quite ready to share with you how much I weigh yet . . . wait . . . this is to make me accountable, right?
As of 1/14/2006 I weigh 231.5. YIKES! At 5'4" that a lot of me . . . .
A few weeks ago I decided to try NutriSystem (NS). I've done other weight loss plans in the past and have been successful, but the weight ALWAYS comes back. Right before I had my son (Jacob) I had gotten down to 160 (from 185) and felt great. I gained about 60 lbs while pregnant. I was able to lose 30 lbs after Jake was born, but it eventually crept up to 238. Scary, huh? I was able to lose the 6.5 lbs on my own, just by making a few "smarter" meal choices. But, the progress was just too slow. I think it took 2 months to lose those 6.5 lbs.
As some background . . . I currently work in the software industry and have a very demanding position. I work a lot of hours (50 hours is a GOOD week) and travel frequently. With the fast food joint being right next door, it's been very convenient to just run in and grab a burger and fries. Also, I don't like to cook, so my hubby (Vincent) is in charge. I think Vince may weight 125 lbs with his steel-toed boots on, so he doesn't always cook stuff that's figure-friendly. (Yes, Vince is underweight - LOL! Jake is a skinny little thing, too!)
I decided to try NS for a two main reasons:
1. It comes with food that doesn't have to be refrigerated/frozen and is easy to prepare. Heck, even I can use a microwave . . . Also, because I don't have to worry about the food spoiling, I can take it with me when I travel. How convenient!
2. The plan is based on proper portions and a balanced diet. This is one of the reasons why I'm a huge Weight Watchers fan.
So, with NS I'm getting the proper "training" on what to eat and how much to eat, with the added bonus of not having to "think" about the next meal.
I've literally been on the program for one whole day, so I'm super-motivated right now. I weighed this morning and was already down 2.5 lbs! I was stunned! I look forward to my official weigh in on Saturday.
More to come in the future. Thanks for stopping by!
With friendship,
Care'
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